These are theoretically testing times

Well, I’ve done it: I have finally taken my UK driving theory test – more than a year after getting my provisional licence and more than five years after I first announced my intentions to (finally) get my UK driving licence.

I didn’t go into the test expecting a victory. In fact, I booked it, planning for failure, hoping that getting a feel for the testing environment would help me better prepare for my “actual” test. I had also booked a practice test last April, but didn’t attend because work was chaotic that week, and I hadn’t revised. Of course, I didn’t really revise this time, either, which only increased the certainty I felt about failure.

When I say I didn’t revise, I mean I did a handful of practice multiple‑choice questions here and there, a couple of hazard perception clips when I remembered, and that was about it. So when I walked into the test centre, I was fully prepared to fail and walk out with a better idea of what to expect next time. Planned failure was certainly a better approach to the day than hope.

What I wasn’t prepared for was passing. Indeed, I was least prepared for passing the hazard perception portion of the test.

And honestly, that feeling was justified. Across the UK, fewer than half of candidates pass the theory test – the national pass rate sits in the mid‑40% range. Even in Scotland, where results tend to be slightly higher than the overall UK average, it’s still far from a sure thing. Although women generally perform a little better than men, and people aged 50 and over often outperform the national average altogether, which I found oddly reassuring. But still… the odds weren’t exactly stacked in my favour.

The test itself felt surreal. Much like my Life in the UK test, I felt confident when I realised I knew the answers to many of the 50 multiple-choice questions. I think it was a combination of the (limited) revision I did, coupled with 25+ years of experience in the UK and the transferable knowledge from my decades of experience as a licensed driver in America. The hazard perception clips were even more surreal. They seemed so simple and obvious, although I worried I was missing something or I was being tricked.

Throughout the test, which I completed in about 30 minutes (there is an 80-minute limit), I switched between feeling oddly confident that I would pass and reminding myself that failure was inevitable. Afterall, this was simply a reconnaissance mission, not a serious attempt at success.

When I left the test area and returned to the front desk for my results, I was immediately shocked to see the words “Congratulations! You’ve passed”. I genuinely thought it was a mistake. I stared at it and re-read in disbelief. I had the biggest smile as I made my way to the lobby, where I paused to put on my jacket. I quickly messaged my friend, the only person who knew I was doing this, to let him know my good news.

Walking out with that certificate brought me so much joy, and I couldn’t stop smiling on the walk to my office. Not because I’d achieved something extraordinary, but because I’d gone in with zero pressure and zero expectations. It turns out that sometimes curiosity – not confidence – is enough to get you through.

If you’re thinking about taking the theory test, here’s my unsolicited advice: don’t be afraid to book it just to see what it’s like. The environment is calmer than you’d expect, the process is straightforward, and even if you’re convinced you’ll fail, you might surprise yourself. I certainly did.

Of course, now that I’ve passed the theory test, I need to book a practical test and a series of lessons. Thankfully, I know how to drive already, so it’s just a matter of unlearning more than 35 years of bad habits.

Watch this space! (But not too closely as driving tests are hard to come by.)