A valentine-less Valentine’s Day

I’ve always been a bit put off with Valentine’s Day. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I was never the girl who got the boy in school. I was the weird one, a Tomboy, and a loner and frankly got a bit disgusted with the whole process as a child. After all, it was never me who got the special cards from the cute boys.

In my early- to mid-20s I dated casually but never had a boyfriend so didn’t care too much for the day then, either. Certainly, by then there were lots of cute boys giving me attention and wanting me to be their Valentine (it helps that I’d learned how to use soap and wash my hair by then) but I wasn’t interested in them. So, Valentine’s Day remained a day of apathy for me.

A few days after meeting Paul, he invited me to a Gene Pitney concert which just happened to be on Valentine’s Day. It was strange being on a Valentine’s Day date with a man I’d only gone on my first date with about a week before, but we both acknowledged that it wasn’t a romantic outing – just a concert.

Future Valentine’s Days saw us staying home and enjoying a nice meal – just the two of us – with a Gene Pitney CD playing in the background. We’d exchange cards but there were no flowers and jewellery. We preferred to stay home and enjoy each others’ company rather than go out to watch people do the forced-romance dance at a crowded restaurant.

Before meeting Paul I didn’t care about the day. Then, when we were together, we both enjoyed mocking those people who put too much effort and stress into the day. And now that he’s gone, well, the apathy and mocking have been replaced with sadness.

So, here I am on Valentine’s Day without my valentine. But still very much in love. Yeah, no matter how happy I am about finally making steps toward a new future, sometimes I can’t help but be so very sad about losing the old future.

2 Replies to “A valentine-less Valentine’s Day”

  1. Jeff called me yesterday on the way home from work and said, “Um. You didn’t get me anything did you?” and I answered,”No. Please tell me you didn’t get me anything either.”
    He sighed with relief. “Oh, good, cuz I was going to tell you to throw it away since I didn’t get you anything.”
    We don’t pay too much attention to Valentine’s Day either.
    But I would be sad without him to NOT celebrate Valentine’s Day with. So I can only imagine that yesterday was not awesome for you.
    And on a side note, I don’t remember you not washing your hair or using soap. So I think only you knew:)

  2. You never forget something (or someone) that’s routed so deeply in your heart. It would make sense that this day is a sad one for you now, but I know that each year that passes will bring with it a new strength for you in facing days like V-Day.
    Sending hugs! 🙂

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