Today marks 11 years since my beloved husband, Paul, passed away so unexpectedly. His death has impacted my life more than I ever could have…
It has been 14 years since I became Mrs Ryan, although most of that time has been spent as a widow rather than a wife. Yet…
I am a widow. I was widowed when I was a young woman of 35 and my life has never been the same since. In the…
It’s Christmas Eve Eve (which means that tomorrow is Christmas Eve) and I am acutely aware that this Christmas is different from all of my…
Note: This is one of a series of Zadar posts with photos. The other two are: Zadar: A Catholic girl’s paradise and Zadar: Everyday life for an everyday…
“You will feel better than this. Maybe not yet. But you will. You just keep living, until you’re alive again.” I heard this quote the…
Way back on February 6, 2002, my friend bailed out on a day trip to St Andrews. With nothing better to do, I decided to walk…
I went to the cemetery to see Paul today, and ended up digging away under his headstone. I hadn’t really planned on that, or I’d have…
I’m on the train to England now and will be flying home to America tomorrow morning. It’s weird because part of me feels like I…
Two weeks before Paul died, we had a conversation about our futures, should one of us die—a conversation sparked because it was the anniversary of…
I managed to survive Christmas alone. I won’t lie and say that it was easy. In fact, it was so very hard. My broken heart…
I’ve decided to spend Christmas alone this year. I know that sounds silly to some people, but it seems like the right thing to do…
Another year, another birthday. Only he’s still not here to celebrate. My Paul would be 51 years old today, but instead he will forever be…
Graduation is on Friday and I’m really dreading looking forward to it. Oops, did you catch that error? Well, if I’m honest I’m not looking…
Today marks one year since I hit the reset button on my future. Yes, it’s been one year since I moved back to my beautiful,…
There is something ever-so-cruel about random memories. OK, not always. In fact, most of the time random memories are happy moments. But sometimes, like today,…
A friend of mine sent me a link to a fellow widow’s blog this weekend and I had a wee peek around to see what…
The sun is shining brightly in Scotland today. And I am so thankful for it because it’s made me realise how happy I am right…
It’s been three years since Paul died so suddenly; so unexpectedly. Some days I can’t believe that he’s gone. Some days I struggle with comprehending…
I’m a little bit crazy most days. Always have been; always will be. But widowhood seems to have increased my insanity. In fact, it seems…