I started this post a few weeks ago intending to talk about how Starbursts have changed since I was a kid. But I never got around to finishing it because I didn’t really know what I could say on the topic, other than how awesome the new wrapper design is.
Then my sister posted one of those Facebook saying photos that read “Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions; chocolate understands” [Semicolon was my addition] and I realised that there is a great difference between my love for sweeties and the love that many women seem to have for chocolate.
You see, I almost feel like chocolate is meant to be a sophisticated, grown-up sweet treat. And, sadly, it seems to cause great amounts of guilt for some women who consume it. But, chocolate seems to have a bit of a philosophical slant to it, too.
Take, for example, the same sister’s love of Dove chocolate bits. Inside of each wrapper is a message of hope, encouragement, or inspiration. Or some other such grown-up mumbo-jumbo. Or these silly little quotes she likes about how she’d kill for chocolate or that the perfect man brings chocolate.
Really, it’s enough to make me sick. Too much chocolate is just, well, it’s just not awesome.
But my sweeties of choice? Well, they’re pretty cool.
First, you’ve got things like LoveHearts and Conversation Hearts where each piece of candy has silly messages written right on them! Like: Call Me; UR Hot; My Boy; Cute Stuff; or I’m Shy. I mean, that’s a great way to flirt with a cute boy. Right?
Then, you’ve got awesome things like Laffy Taffy. Now, Laffy Taffy is fun because each wrapper contains jokes! Really funny ones, like: “What’s an owl’s favourite subject? Owlgebra.” (Hilarious, right?)
And of course, there are Starbursts. (Sorry, UK folks, they are not OpalFruits now. Adapt and embrace the change.) But the cool thing about Starbursts is they’ve re-done the wrappers! I mean, for years kids had fun with the wrappers. For example, do you remember in junior high school when it was said that if you could unwrap a Starburst in your mouth (with your tongue) it meant you were a good kisser?
But now they’ve added some fun-for-all-ages to the wrappers! Yes, on each little piece of candy there is an opportunity for some silliness. You might be instructed to say “red lorry yellow lorry” ten times fast or you might be asked to play air guitar (or air sax or air drums) or you might be told to try to touch the tip of your nose with your tongue. Or maybe you’ll be instructed to sing a song or hop on your left leg.
No, with each piece of candy you’re not given some valuable insight into life’s great mysteries. Instead, you’re allowed to be silly; to have some fun; to laugh; to recall your childhood.
OK, I know that people think my candy preference is rather childish (certainly, by adulthood we’ve moved past these silly kiddie candies, right?) but I enjoy them. Partly because they taste yummy, but partly because they make me remember the simple pleasures in life.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, my wrapper has just informed me that it’s time to make a shadow puppet…